I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor.
Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
I hate how chocolate melts in my hand I mean am I that hot?
Sarcasm: A literary device for identifying the stupid.
I have been to many places but my goal is to go everywhere.
I’m trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.