Funny friendship status

Your secret is safe with me and all my friends.

Best friends are like pimples, they never go away!

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.

I never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.

If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don’t need an analyst.

If you can’t say anything nice, we should probably be friends.

Strangers think I’m quiet, my friends think I’m out-going, my best friends know that I’m completely insane!

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

Going to friend’s house and being like, ‘dude where’s the food?’

Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?